A Start of a New Adventure
by xherondaleboysx
Summary: "We'll travel the world together, we'll learn to bear it together." Jem and Tessa reunite, and help fight the brewing war against Sebastian. Lives are lost, traitors are revealed, and love is rekindled.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to the fabulous Cassandra Clare and The Infernal Devices series!**

**Author's Note: This is my very first fanfic, so I am awfully nervous about posting! After I read Infernal Devices, I was on a mental breakdown. I so badly wanted to find out what happened to Jem and Tessa so I decided to write my own scenario! I didn't plan for this to be longer than 1 chapter, but if I get any requests for more then I'll continue it. Review your thoughts! :)**

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><p>Jem and I were making our way to my London apartment, it was still late afternoon. I felt like I could have stayed on Blackfriars Bridge for the rest of the day, in his arms.<p>

_Jem. My Jem._ Finally, after all these years of hopelessly wandering the globe, grieving the losses of Will and our children, having no company but Magnus, finally, after all this I have found him again. He looks more beautiful then I remember, with his roughly tousled charcoal hair that still contained flecks of silver from that damned drug. His eyes now dark, his face flooded with colour, his cheekbones were still prominent, his muscles more defined and larger than ever. I ached to feel those muscles.

My hair was falling freely around my shoulders, as it was the style these days, and blew in the wind as we walked towards the apartment building.

"This is where you live now?" Jem inquired from behind me as I toggled the door open. The setting sun was hitting him perfectly, so I couldn't have helped but take in a breath.

"For my stays in London, yes. It isn't much, its main purpose is just to house me for a few nights, since I've been travelling so much."

He nodded, and followed me through the apartment's door. It was an old, Victorian-styled place. It reminded me of the London institute a bit, with corridors that all looked the same, but I quickly shook that memory out of my head before it followed with another memory: _Will._

Jem followed me as we came to my room and I opened the door. The apartment was all grey, except for the table and chairs that were all a musky brown. It was small, my apartment in New York was much grander, and Magnus had helped me choose it, which automatically meant it would be glamorous. That was where I spent most my time these days.

"It isn't much," I repeated as I walked in and closed the door behind Jem, "and there's only one bed-"

"I can barely remember the last time I saw you and Will, before I was a Silent Brother," he turned to look at me, before walking away and pulling out a chair to sit down in.

I drew out a chair, and sat opposite him, with my hands carefully laid on the table in front of me. I hoped he would take them into his, but I knew he'd hesitate. The kiss on the bridge, it was his impulse, all the emotion he had held in had come out. It was nothing more than a longing for human-like touch again. Nothing else. I thought about the last time I had talked to him, before I was captured, before the Silent brothers turned him, before Will found me.

"We were going to get married the next day, I remember, James," I breathed out his name, almost like a sigh, I remembered when he said he liked the sound of it on my lips. The thought sent pain stinging into my chest. His eyes had lit up at the sound of his proper name, and I knew he was thinking of Will. He was the only person who had ever called him that.

"Yes, and Will confessed to me he loved you and I sent him after you," he started shallowly breathing, nearly puffing out his words, "I do not understand how you stay so strong, after all this time. I want to learn how. I just can't stop thinking about him."

I could feel the creases on my forehead form at his words. _The only wrinkles I would ever get._

"You mean... Will?" I choked out the name. Jem nodded.

"Without him, I won't truly ever be whole, though you make me feel like it. I want to be strong, Tessa, I want to forget," he put his face into his hands, and I could swear he looked as if he were crying, but he made no sound. I longed to reach out to him.

"Jem. Remember what Magnus always said, that forever-"

"Forever does not make loss forgettable, only bearable," he quoted and lifted his face up, his dark eyes matching mine, "I know that Tessa, I've heard it from him enough times. I wish there was a way to forget though... a way to bear it..." He trailed off and looked away from me. My heart was breaking. How could I help him? I had never had a parabatai before, nor a friendship like Will and Jem's. I could understand the loss of a loved one, but a brother? Sure, my brother had died right before my eyes, but he betrayed me. Though I loved him, he hurt me a lot. Jem never hurt Will, and Will never hurt Jem. They were connected. They were as one. I would never be able to understand their bond. I cared for them both with all my soul and my life, but my love for them was different to the love they had. I sighed.

"James, you couldn't really want to forget, could you? All the good times with him. You need those memories," I smiled weakly, hoping it would catch his gaze, and it did.

"I want to forget the years I was in the Silent City, the years we never spent together," his eyes were now locked with mine, but my eyes were filled with tears, whereas his were still dry, "when I was a Silent Brother, I didn't feel, I couldn't. When I visited you, I barely could remember our past, let alone Will. The Silent brothers said what I was doing was bad, trying to keep in touch with my humanity. I didn't listen. Then when they found the cure, I begged them not to give it to me, so I didn't have to face what I had done; abandon Will."

Silence fell. Our surroundings were almost as still as Jem's eyes. He wasn't blinking and his pupils were dilated. My eyes ached from the tears, but I did not break my stare from his. I could see why he wants to forget, I would too, he must regret not spending all that lost time with Will, not growing old together or having kids.

"James..." I managed.

"Tessa."

"We'll travel the world together, we'll learn to bear it together."

He abruptly stood up. I widened my eyes and let out a faint chuckle, but a heart aching pain stopped it in its tracks. He came over to me, and kneeled beside me in my chair.

Confused, I faced him, "What is it?"

"Let's go to New York first?" He said, "Visit the institute there? I told you I'd tell you another story about Herondales, Lightwoods and Fairchilds. That's where it starts. Let's go, together."

I didn't like this idea. How could I face the last of Will and my family's line? All that will be waiting in his path is death, and I will spend my eternity facing it.

"I don't think I can, Jem."

He took my hands in his large brawny ones, "Please. You have spent your days grieving the loss of Stephen and Celine, believing what you and Will created was gone. This can be our last adventure together, saving this boy. I owe it to them, Tessa, to Will too."

I hurriedly fell to my knees in front of him and flung my arms around his neck. He gently wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me closer so our foreheads collided. I nodded willingly.

"If you believe it was what Will would have wanted, then..." I trailed off, trying to remember the fragments of Chinese he had taught me. "Wo chi," I whispered. He laughed and it made me realize how much I missed that laugh, God, I missed that-

"Tessa, you just said 'I eat,'" he continued to laugh, and I felt myself turn a bright pink.

"Oh, my Mandarin must be pretty rusty," I giggled, and he smiled.

"Wo ai ni, Tessa," he whispered, _I love you._

Before I could respond, his lips were against mine. It was hard and firm at first, but soon our lips parted, and our bodies fit together perfectly. I knew this kiss was different then all the others we had shared. Sadness, longing, hope, all bottled up into this one kiss. He was different now too, but in all the ways that mattered. He was wiser, healthier. All I could think of was him, how he's changed, but still my Jem. Soon, we were sprawled out on the floor together, kissing, embracing, our hearts beating as one. I could not wait to start our adventure.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Cassandra Clare and the Infernal Devices series!**

**A/N: Here is chapter 2! I have decided to continue this story, and I will update as often as possible! Please review for what you'd like to see happen and I will try make it :) **

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><p>The next few days were long for Jem and I. We were too busy preparing for our trip to New York, that we had barely talked about anything but the situation of Valentine's son, Jonathan, who now goes by Sebastian, according to Jem. Since the day we reunited, all I had wanted to do was talk to him about us, and comfort him as I could still see he was troubled, but he hadn't seem very interested in that and kept the conversations casual. Jem and I had barely spent any intimate time together, only a few kisses before we went to sleep. There was only one bed in my apartment, and even though Jem valiantly said he'd sleep on the couch, we ended up sharing the bed. It was our first night together. It was late and I was restless at the thought of him in the other room, sleeping by himself on a small couch. I was about to get up to ask him to come sleep in the bed with me, when I heard his footsteps and the opening of the bedroom door. He told me he couldn't take his mind off me, and needed to see me immediately. I told him the same, as it was true for me too, and told him to come lay down next to me. Without hesitation, he did.<p>

I respected that he had spent so many years without any proper human contact, that he might be nervous or self-conscious, but it was only me. His Tessa. No matter what he did, I would always love him just the same.  
>I was in my bedroom the night before we were to leave for New York; I was re-reading The Hobbit, which was one of my favourite books, when I started to hear a soft melody from the balcony. I set my book down and listened intently to the music that travelled into my room. It was quiet and smooth at first, then the instrument, which I recognised as a violin, got louder and rougher until the music suddenly broke off.<br>I got up from my bed, and headed to the balcony to investigate. I opened the glass doors and walked out into the cold night air. Leaning over the railing, with his violin and his bow, was Jem. His dark hair was lit with the moon's shine and he was wearing the sweatpants I had recently brought him, and a dark t-shirt. He hadn't turned when I came outside, and stood very still.

"Jem?" I walked towards him and stood beside him at the railing. He was staring at the moon, and didn't seem to blink when I said his name. "What you were playing was so beautiful, Jem, why'd you stop?"

He looked sideways at me and slightly smiled.

"I needed my muse," he smirked, "and now she's here." This definitely brought colour to my cheeks.

"I'm an inspiration for your music?" I stepped closer to him so my hand brushed his violin, and our arms rested against each other. He lifted his violin to his chin, and faced the moon again and started to play it. He moved his bow so carefully across the strings, and played a melody of sweet notes that wrapped me in their caress. I rested my head on his shoulder while he played and closed my eyes. I breathed in his scent of spices and moonlight and wrapped my arms around his torso. He continued to play such beautiful notes. My heart was beating faster and faster when I recognised what it was. He was playing my song.

When he stopped playing and put his violin and bow down, I still held onto his torso and kept my eyes shut. I felt his arms snake around me and I opened my eyes in response. He was looking down at me.

"You are the music in me, Tessa, as odd as that sounds."

I grinned, but my grin soon disappeared. Should I ask him about us? Where we stand? He sensed my disturbance and slightly pulled back.

"Do you have something you'd like to say?" He asked quietly. I nodded.

"Jem, do you want to have a relationship? Like a real one? Or are we just going to stay friends? I will understand if you want to just be friends after everything, and I am immortal so you might not want to have to deal with that, and I know I remind you of Will and I know that must be so hard but I just need to know if you want to continue," my mind was racing and I couldn't stop my words. "I know you still love me, and I love you also, but I know it can be hard when I'm a reminder of the life you once had, or could have had."

I closed my mouth and shut my eyes tightly, not wanting to see his expression.

I heard a sigh. "Tessa... open your eyes."

I obeyed. He was facing me and smiling.

"All I want is you, I don't care if we're married or just friends or whatever else," he took my hand and lead me back into the bedroom, closing the balcony door and placing his violin away, but his hand never left mine. We sat down on the bed together and he gently squeezed my hand.

"Whatever you want us to be, we can. Don't worry about being immortal, that won't change my mind, because I know what we have is as true as anything, since it has lasted for so long. As for Will," he inhaled, "like you said before, we'll learn to bear it together. As long as I'm with you, it'll be ok."  
>He exhaled then leaned forward and kissed me on the forehead before moving away from me and laying his head down on the pillow. I felt a twinge in my heart at the sound of Will's name.<p>

"We have to get rest for our trip tomorrow, so I propose we sleep now, Tessa. Magnus would kill us if we kept him waiting by the portal."

I nodded and giggled in agreement, before moving to the other side of the bed and rested my face inches from his. He switched off the lights, so we were looking at each other in almost complete darkness. I could still make out the sharp edges of his cheekbones and his dark eyes. I had an urge to touch his face, so I did, and laid my palm on his jaw. He responded by loosely wrapping his arm around my waist.

"You are very beautiful," he breathed.

"You cannot talk, James," I replied before catching his lips with mine. We stayed there for a second, our lips pressed together, before he pulled me closer by my hips and our kiss deepened. I knotted my hands in his shirt, and he clumsily knocked our knees together, but I didn't care. Nothing could ruin being that close to him. After what felt like forever, we gently pulled our lips apart but stayed entwined in each other's bodies. Soon, his breath evened out and he was asleep. I smiled before closing my own eyes. Tomorrow I would be going to New York, my home, to meet the last Herondale.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Cassandra Clare and the Infernal Devices series!**

**A/N: Here is chapter 3! I'm so sorry it has taken me this long to update, I was away for Australia day with friends and family and I unfortunately didn't have any Internet. I also didn't have my phone or laptop so I haven't yet started chapter 4, but I will be ASAP! I have a week left until school comes back, but I promise to update as much as possible! I am also going to start some one shot drafts for a new show I have been watching, so look out for those! Please leave reviews for what you would like to see happen next, thank you all so much and please enjoy :)**

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><p>I woke up the next morning wrapped in sheets and bathed in sunlight that was peaking through the curtains. I reached my hand to where Jem was sprawled out next to me, with his eyes still shut. His lips were slightly parted and his arms were folded behind his head. His t-shirt was pulled up to his waist, revealing his abdomen and pointed hipbones. This was an unusual sight, as normally Jem was never in bed when I woke up, and he was usually on the balcony or in the kitchen. I had been teaching him how to cook, and he quickly took that on board and insisted on making breakfast for me every morning until he got the hang of it.<br>It was so special seeing him like this; I doubted anyone ever really had. I myself had only ever seen Will like this. He used to always stay in bed until late, and mumble my name in his sleep. He always huddled up to me, and I would have to peel his hands off me to get up in the morning, but I never minded. The memory of Will caused a pain in my throat and watery eyes.

At that moment, Jem began to sleepily blink and his eyes became fully opened and met mine. I inched closer to him so I shared his pillow and smiled at him.

"Morning, Jem," I placed my hand on his cheek and carefully ran my thumb along his cheekbone. He closed his eyes, and for a second I thought he was asleep again.

"Never have I woken up to a sight this perfect," he simply said before opening his eyes again. His voice was drowsy, but still so smooth. We gazed at each other for a while, in a comfortable silence. As I looked into his eyes, I saw all the lonely years he had spent, and my heart ached for him.  
>While Will and I were experiencing life together, getting married, having kids, Jem was condemned to the life of a Silent Brother. Both happiness and sadness filled me in this moment. Happiness for the life Will and I shared, and the life Jem and I will share. Sadness for Will's death, and soon enough, Jem's death.<p>

My thumb moved gently from his cheekbone to his lips, and I wanted to lean in to kiss him, but decided to wait for his move. No way did I want to rush things between us. He gently moved away from me and got out of bed. I frowned, but didn't complain.

"I better start on breakfast for you; I don't normally sleep in this long. You must be starving, I'm sorry," he quickly stretched his arms and was about to leave the room when I stood up and hurried to the door to block his path.

"I'm sure we can eat when we get there, besides, I'm not hungry right now."

He stood in front of me and ran his fingers through his hair, I responded with a smile and put my hand on his shoulder.

"Are you sure? Tessa it's no trouble at all for me –"

I shook my head, "I'm sure."

He nodded and leant his head down to kiss my hand on his shoulder. I felt a surge of adrenaline run through me at the touch of his lips and I couldn't help but feel flustered.

"I'll get ready now then?" I glanced at the digital clock on my bedside table, "we're meeting Magnus at noon, right? That gives us an hour."

I took my hand off of Jem's shoulder, as much as it pained me, and started gathering my clothes.

"I'll get our suitcases then," Jem's voice, which still had a hint of drowsiness in it, sounded from behind me as I closed the bathroom door. I stood in front of the mirror and gritted my teeth. Dull brown hair, and eyes the colour of storm clouds. This is me. Forever. At that moment in time, I wished that I could shift the shade of my hair or the colour of my eyes, but I knew my power didn't work like that.  
>I changed into a pair of jeans, a sweater and boots, and then tied my hair up loosely in a bun. I looked at my appearance again and, though I was unpleased, decided against make up. Instead, I pinched my cheeks so they'd flourish pink.<br>I stepped out of the bathroom and smiled at the sight of Jem in jeans and a t-shirt that hugged his body well. He was packing the remainder of my books into my suitcase. He looked up and smirked at me.

"You look beautiful, Tessa," he said before he returned to packing the suitcase. I felt exalted at his words, and could never tire of the sound of his voice saying my name. I walked over to him, not being able to deal with the space between us, and wrapped my arms around him from behind. He continued packing, but I could feel his muscles relax under my touch. I kissed his neck, then laid my head on the warmth of his back.

"All done," Jem sighed then zipped up the suitcase and turned in my arms so he was facing me. He reached up and placed his hands on my cheeks. He cautiously bent his head down. He hesitated as if giving me a chance to back down, and then took my lips into his. Only seconds passed, and my head was spinning from the rhythm of his lips on mine. He pulled away and stepped out of my arms. He walked over to my bedside table and started to observe the digital clock. I loved how he was eager to learn about the modern world, he must have felt so disconnected as a Silent Brother at times.  
>"It's time," he breathed. I picked up my suitcase from my bed, and Jem picked up his, and walked out of the apartment.<p>

"Do you want me to carry your suitcase, Tessa?" Jem asked as he shut and locked the door behind me. He put the keys in my pocket and went to reach for my suitcase but I shook my head.

"I'll be fine, but thank you."

We made our way down the stairs, laughing and often bumping into each other with our suitcases. It was so good being with him like this again. I remembered the days in the London Institute where we wondered the hallways, getting to know every detail about each other. I wondered what it would be like to step into another Institute again, but I guess I'd find that out soon enough.  
>Jem said Magnus would be opening a portal at the edge of Blackfriar's Bridge, down near the river at exactly midday. That will take us to Magnus's place, where he'll be waiting for us, then escort us to the New York Institute. As Jem and I made our way to the bridge, he told me all about the young Herondale boy. He had blonde hair and amber eyes, and then I had remembered vaguely seeing him once in Idris, with the red headed girl, Clarissa. According to Jem, Jace had inherited Will's sarcasm, conceited attitude, and hatred of ducks. I laughed at this, and couldn't wait to be surrounded by that kind of humour again. Jem also said that the boy liked to read, and that tugged the strings in my heart hard. Will.<p>

When Jem and I arrived at Blackfriars Bridge, we waited by the river for the strike of midday, and the portal to appear. I kept glancing down at my phone to check the time and my heart seemed to jump. Two more minutes.

"One of the boy's has Will's eyes and hair, inherited from Cecily I think," Jem said as he sat on his suitcase and rested his elbows on his knees. I opened my mouth to reply when a whoosh of light appeared just metres from the river's edge, and a large, shining doorway appeared in front of us.

"We're lucky that Magnus didn't open the portal up in the middle of the Thymes," I giggled and quickly gathered my suitcase, along with Jem. We stood side by side in front of the luminous gateway, and I took in a deep breath. I subconsciously reached for Jem's hand, and quickly found it. His smooth palm fit in my sweaty one perfectly, and suddenly I felt a surge of strength and confidence from his touch.

"Do you remember how to use one?" He asked me. I glanced at him; he was staring right into the portal.

"Of course I do! The question is, do you remember?" I chuckled and he grinned at me.

"Once a Shadowhunter, always a Shadowhunter," and with that, we gripped each other's hands, and stepped through the portal.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Cassandra Clare and the Infernal Devices series!**

**A/N: Hey guys! Here is chapter 4! I'm sorry if sometimes it takes ages to update, I usually write the chapters in my notebook then type them up, which can be so tedious and take ages. Please review for what you would like to see and anything I can improve on! Also, a quick shoutout to my fab beta, you know who you are! Enjoy :)**

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><p>I felt a surge of ease and relief run through me as Jem and I, hand in hand, stepped out of the portal and right into the middle of Magnus's normally, luxurious apartment. Instead of his old vibrant and loud living room though, everything here was dark and plain. I could swear this was a stranger's place. The pillows were no longer a bright yellow but a dull grey, his sofa was now a violent black instead of purple. There were take away containers all over the ground and tables, empty beer cans, and the strong scent of sweat and lavender. The only noise in the apartment was coming from the flat screen TV which was playing the original Gone With The Wind. This was all very unlike Magnus. Not only was the colour scheme wrong, but the lack of scented candles and music gave me the impression something was very wrong.<p>

"Well," Jem's voice sounded from beside me, I looked at him and matched his frown, "maybe he accidentally landed us in the wrong apartment?"

I let go of Jem's hand and shook my head. "No, this is definitely his apartment," I settled my suitcase down and picked up one of the takeaway containers on a table, "he must have just redecorated the place."

Jem opened his mouth to respond but the voice that met my ears was far from his typical mellow and soft tones.

"I needed a new start, too many reminders of happiness here," the voice said, "you would know how I feel, Tess." My gaze met Magnus's yellow eyes, as he stood in his bedroom doorway in nothing but boxers and a red, satin robe. His hair was all flattened and he was makeup, and sparkle free. He had dark circles under his eyes, his lips were chapped, and his face looked long and weary. He stared at Jem and weakly tried a smile. "It's weird hearing you talk out loud, and the lack of confidence you have in my portal making really hurts," Magnus stepped out of the doorway and clapped Jem on the back causing him to respond with a shy smile, then made his way to me. Magnus planted a kiss on my cheek, and slumped onto the sofa.

"I'm so happy to see you Magnus, but I can tell that something's up with you," I carefully sat next to him on the sofa, "why would you need a new start?"

I could feel Jem move so he was standing behind Magnus and I. I briefly glanced up to him and he smiled reassuringly, so I turned back to Magnus who was rubbing his temples, and put my hand on his shoulder.

"Where's Alec?"

The sob Magnus had let out made me immediately regret my choice of words. Though I could see no sign of tears, I knew he was deeply upset. I tightened my hold on his shoulder.

"Magnus? What happened?" I reluctantly smiled and he looked up at me.

"He's gone, Alec, I sent him away because of what I am. I hate myself. I think this immortality thing is finally eating me alive," Magnus looked at Jem, then back at me, "I sincerely wish you both good luck. Immortality is a bitch, don't let it play you. " At that, Magnus stood up and started towards his bedroom, I stood up too.

"You're not coming with us then?" I folded my arms across my chest. I was hoping for Magnus to come with Jem and I to the institute, so I would feel more welcome with another warlock by my side, but I knew he would refuse. Anything to avoid Alec.

Jem moved to my side and rested his hand gently on my waist. I felt encouragement from his touch, though it was so small and so gentle, it consumed me with praise. He knew I was looking forward to Magnus coming with us, as I had mentioned it a few times in our conversations, so he could sense my disappointment. it was basically emitting from me.

Before Magnus stepped back into his bedroom he turned and smiled. "I'll probably tell you the full story another time, Tess, but until then you two have fun on your little adventure. There's a taxi waiting for you outside, it'll take you where you are needed."

With that, Magnus shut his bedroom and disappeared. Jem's hand squeezed my side, "Lets go then."

We gathered our suitcases and ventured out of Magnus's apartment and onto the street. Indeed there was a yellow taxi cab waiting for our arrival. I opened up the trunk and lifted my suitcase with ease and tossed it in. Jem was beside me, and appeared about to do the same, but his eyes searched the many sky scrapers, and his lips parted and formed a genuine smile. I forced back a giggle at his boyish grin. I couldn't wait to travel the world with him, and witness a thousand more of his crooked smiles. After we visit the institute and the war is over, I wanted to take him everywhere, I wanted him to live as fully and as large as he could.

We got into the taxi and sat side by side. The driver seemed to have already been given instructions on where to take us, as he asked no questions and drove off straight away. Jem laced his fingers assuringly through mine, and stared out the window. I watched him with interest. His dark eyes were filled with the midday sun, and his eyelashes were casting shadows on his cheeks. He's beautiful. He makes me whole and alive. I've yearned for so long to feel like this again, to be with someone I loved. No one could ever make me feel like this again, after Jem, there was no one. I could not spend an etnerity without him, he fills the emptiness in me. Ever since Will, I felt so alone, I thought Jem would never escape the Silent Brothers, I thought I'd spend my life in despair. Now I know different. Jem, my beautiful Jem, he's here. His heart is beating for mine, and mine for his. I regretted not growing old with Will, so maybe this time with Jem I could. Maybe, I could give up my forever, and grow old. I closed my eyes and squeezed Jem's hand. I wanted eternity with him, I will not bear living on, I will not make this mistake twice.

"I love you," I blurted the words out before I had opened my eyes. The urgency in my voice was alarming. I opened my eyes to Jem's lopsided grin, and his eyes lightened as they met mine.

He gave my hand a squeeze, "Why, I love you too, Tessa. Utterly and truly."

I found myself releasing a simper and kissed our joined hands, then kissed his shoulder, then kissed his cheek, then his nose. We laughed together and I continued kissing him everywhere on his face except his lips. The taxi driver gave a few awkward sighs but not once did I let it get to me. I needed to enjoy these types of moments. After all, who's to say Jem and I will survive this war? I had been too busy thinking about growing old with him, when I remembered well, maybe one of us won't make it out. Jem seemed to sense my sudden falter and placed a hand on my cheek, and squeezed my other.

"Whatever it is you're thinking, just remember, wo ai ni," he whispered then planted a soft but solid kiss on my lips. The taxi then came to a stop, he pulled to the curb, and the driver and I made eye contact in his review mirror.

"Here's your stop. Some mangy old church," the driver grumpily said.

Jem and I got out of the taxi and grabbed our suitcases. I held on tightly to Jem's hand, and we proceeded through the gates of the institute. It was a large gothic like cathedral and made me catch my breath. It was gorgeous. Jem and I came to the huge, black door of the building and I felt my nerves rumble in my chest. I was so close to meeting the boy, Jace.

Jem knocked 3 times, and I watched as he stood almost limp, waiting for the door to be answered. I was so busy watching Jem's reaction, that I myself forgot to react to the loud screeching of the institute doors. As the doors opened, my heart fastened and I grasped Jem's hand even tighter.

n front of us stood a young man, slim yet muscular, with curly blonde hair that covered his ears and touched his t shirt collar. His eyes were like amber, and they widened at the sight of Jem, and he seemed to completely ignore my presence.

"Brother..? Brother Zachariah?" The boy quirked an eyebrow and smirked while looking Jem up and down then glancing at me, "since when did you ditch your robes? And you found yourself a lady friend?"

Jem shyly smiled and glanced at me, but I was staring at the boy in complete shock. Though his eyes weren't blue, and his hair wasn't black, he looked exactly like Will.

"Jace, this is Tessa, Tessa Herondale."


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Cassandra Clare and the Infernal Devices series!**

**A/N: HEY GUYS! Here is chapter 5! I apologise for the late update, I already have 3 assignments for school, and I've been very social, but I am trying my hardest! Please review your thoughts and anything you'd like to see happen. BTW, I'm so ecstatic about city of heavenly fire! Hopefully there will be some Jessa! Anyway, please enjoy this chapter :)**

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><p>"Herondale?" Jace stared wide-eyed at me and I tensed up. Lack of sleep appeared on his face and the way his shoulders stiffened, made me feel very unsure of myself.<p>

"It's good to meet you, Jace. You look awfully like your father," I tried a smile and held out my hand for him. Jace glanced at my hand but didn't take it. Jem placed a hand on my shoulder for encouragement, and I stifled a sigh and lowered my hand. I understood this must be hard for him, and he would have a lot of questions. My heart fluttered in relief as Jem opened his mouth to speak.

"Your mother is expecting us," he said, "all will be explained soon," he moved his hand from my shoulder and picked up his suitcase. Jace nodded, not removing his eyes from me.

"Come in, I'll fetch Maryse."

As Jace let us in and secured the door behind us, he dashed off up a large, marble staircase. The Institute was justly as beautiful inside as it was outside, with velvet, red curtains and high ceilings. I felt at home straight away.

"I'm sorry about Jace," Jem wrapped his arm around my shoulder, "he will come around, he needs answers, that's all."

The corners of my mouth quirked up and my heart sped up from his words. I knew I had to talk to Jace one on one to help him trust me. Jem had mentioned once or twice that the boy had trust issues and often pushed people away. 'Sounds like another Herondale,' I thought.

Footsteps sounded down the staircase. Jem and I turned to see Maryse, dressed in traditional Shadowhunter black, with Jace close behind, trotting towards us. Jace stopped at the end of the staircase, watching as Maryse approached Jem and I. Her dark hair was tied back loosely, and her light blue eyes hadn't lost their colour since I'd last seen her. She was stunning, and I couldn't help but feel jealous. I quickly remembered the first time I saw Maryse. I was secretly attending a Lightwood family reunion, to see what Cecily, Gabriel, Sophie and Gideon's family were up to. Maryse was a teenager and she and Robert had just started dating. He had invited her to the gathering. All the Lightwoods welcomed Maryse easily enough, and Robert had looked so proud. They were so young, and so full of love.  
>Maryse shook Jem's hand and greeted me with a respectable hug. She smiled gently at the both of us.<br>"Welcome, Brother- I mean, Mr. Carstairs and Mrs. Herondale," Maryse nodded her head to Jace who looked up at the sound of our last name, "I see you have already met Jace, so I'll introduce my other children and some other allies, though most already know you, Mr. Carstairs, and some you, Mrs. Herondale."

Jem raised a hand, "Please, call me Jem."

I smiled at him and nodded, "Yes, and please call me Tessa."

Maryse smiled, "If that makes you comfortable. Jace will take your suitcases to your rooms. Unless, uh, I apologize for asking, but unless you're sharing a room?"

Jace raised an eyebrow and I felt myself burning up. Jem simply smiled.

"We'll share."

I tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear and looked down smiling, trying to cover how flustered I was feeling. I'm glad he wanted to share.

Maryse turned to Jace, "take their suitcases Jace, we'll show them to their room later."

Jace let out a loud breath and approached Jem and I. He swiftly took our suitcases and we murmured our thanks to him. He gave me a cold glare. I couldn't help but notice a hint of hurt and sadness behind his eyes, and I furrowed my eyebrows. He started up the stairs and was soon out of my sight. I knew I really had to work to gain his trust, I owed my family this. I owed Jace. I owed Will.

"This way to the kitchen. My children and the others should be in there," Maryse started walking towards a large hallway at the end of the room and beckoned us to follow.  
>Jem offered his arm to me, and I beamed while looping my arm with his, and placing my head on his shoulder as we started to walk.<p>

"Since when did Brother Zachariah get hot?" The youngest Lightwood girl, Isabelle, chirped from her seat at the kitchen table. She looked a lot like Maryse. She had long brown hair, matching almond eyes, and dressed in all black. Very pretty. I admired her beauty and suddenly felt insecure about how I looked. My arm was still looped through Jem's and I moved closer to him, squeezing our arms together. He was blushing immensely from Isabelle's comment.

"Isabelle." The boy sitting next to her scowled. The boy, Alec, was her brother. He had black, untidy hair that fell over his eyes, and matching blue eyes. His eyes weren't like his mother's though, they were darker and bluer and they were like... blue glass. Inherited from Cecily, Jem had said. Will's eyes. I smiled in my mind at Alec, but I could see the loneliness in his beautiful eyes. He was thinking of Magnus, I assumed.  
>Isabelle giggled then leaned back on her chair, and winked up at the boy standing behind her. Simon, a vampire with dark eyes, brown hair, a lanky, tall build, and a black leather jacket, rolled his eyes at her playfully. He had a kind and charming smile, which he often gave to Isabelle, and to the redheaded girl standing next to him who I had recognised immediately. Clarissa.<br>She was as stunning as her mother, but seemed to lack her height. She had light freckles that trailed over her cheeks and her nose, and her eyes were a startlingly green. She was truly beautiful. My looks were boring, not exotic or different, I had no defining features, I felt bland.  
>Maryse was busy chopping up various things on the kitchen bench, and I couldn't help but feel a pang of hunger run through me.<p>

"So you're something like, Jace's great great great grandmother?" Clarissa stepped forward and came to stand in front of Jem and I, who were still standing awkwardly in the doorway. She had her hands crossed in front of her and she cocked her head to one side as she looked at me warmly.

"Something like that," I smiled and loosened my grip slightly on Jem, "Jace looks a lot like my husband."

"Really?" Clarissa beamed at this, "come sit down, I think I have a lot of questions for you two," she chuckled and pointed to two wooden chairs opposite Isabelle and Alec. Jem and I let go of each other, much to my dismay, and sat down. I entwined my fingers together and smiled up at the 4 teenagers. Alec was saying something to his mother, who was moving over the stove, and Simon was still hovering over Isabelle who was laughing at something he seemed to have said. Clarissa pulled out a chair next to me and sat down. She smiled politely and laid her cheek in her palm.

She looked past me at Jem, who was rubbing his jaw thoughtfully, and said, "is Tessa one of the people you said you'd die for?"

I blinked. He talked to them about me? Jem crookedly grinned and nodded, "one of them, yes. She and I have been friends for many years."

"Just friends?" Isabelle piped up, seemingly to just have started listening in. My cheeks turned crimson and I looked at Jem shyly.

Alec had gotten up to help his mum with cooking, and Simon had taken his spot, "friends with benefits, maybe?" He quipped.

Jem sputtered and I giggled, but Clarissa rolled her eyes, "That's not our business, Simon," she lightly grinned then turned back to Jem and I, "who was the other person you spoke of then? The other one you cared for?"

I immediately averted my gaze. It was too soon to talk about Will with these others. I held my eyes shut as Jem sighed then began to speak.

"His name was Will. He was a very sarcastic and obnoxious, yet caring person, and was also my parabatai. We had been friends since we were about 12, and trained as Shadowhunters together and lived together in London. He looked after me when I fell, uh, ill. He was like a brother. Actually, more then a brother, a soul mate some would say. I loved him, as he was the only family I had left. Unfortunately, when I became a Silent Brother, our parabatai connection was severed. I was barely allowed to see him anymore after that, it tore me apart and it keeps me awake at night sometimes. He was lucky he had Tessa though," I squeezed my eyes shut tighter as he mentioned my name. "Will would have gone crazy otherwise. I was there when he died of course. It was peaceful and from old age," Jem stopped and exhaled before beginning again. "Will was there for me in my bad and good days, and cared for me no matter what. I would have done anything for him, and I deeply wish my illness hadn't caused the damage it did. Will spent most of his life without me. Without his best friend or soul mate or brother or whatever we were. I can do nothing now to change what happened, but like I said to you Clary, I would die for Will, and since Jace is the last of Will's bloodline, I am willing to give my life for Jace."

I couldn't open my eyes. I didn't dare. I knew as soon as I'd open them my tears would be released, and I couldn't bare to see everyone's faces. Jem's speech was almost as beautiful as he was, and I couldn't have thanked him enough for how he said it.

"He was a Herondale," The voice was the same voice I had heard when Jem and I had arrived here. Jace. I opened my eyes slowly, holding back my tears with all my might, and turned my head to see Jace standing in the doorway with his arms folded. I looked around to see that everyone else, Maryse, Alec, Isabelle, Simon and Clary, were staring at Jace and I.  
>I looked at Jem and noticed how his eyes were ever so slightly glistening. He was looking at Jace.<p>

"Will Herondale, Tessa's husband," Jem smoothly replied to the boy. Jace's eyes were stuck on Jem and he lifted the corners of his mouth into a smirk. Jace opened his mouth to reply but Isabelle chimed in.

"Obnoxious and sarcastic, sounds familiar. Does it run in the family?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Cassandra Clare and the Infernal Devices series!**

**A/N: HEY GUYS! I'm so so sorry I haven't updated in so long! I've literally been slapped in the face with assignments and exams. I've barely had time for anything but stress -.- it doesn't help that I've suffered writer's block either! I have managed to whip this up though and I'm glad that my writer's block has passed! I promise to update again soon. Hope you're all well. Please follow/review/favourites! And I'd love some criticism on my writing and how to improve. ENJOY! :) **

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><p>The sun had set when Jem, Jace, Clary, Simon, Isabelle, Alec and I filed out of the kitchen; leaving Maryse to do the cleaning up.<p>

Jem and I were escorted by Jace to our room, which was very lavish and produced many gasps from me. The room had oak coloured walls and floorboards, with a matching dresser. The bed was no doubt king sized. The sheets and pillows were all white, and the bed posts had carvings of different intricate designs like swirls and stars. There was even a small fire place and a window with red velvet curtains. Jem and my suitcases were on our bed, and a pair of towels and some soap were laid neatly on top.

"Alec's room is across from you if you need anything," Jace was standing in the doorway with his arms folded, "oh, and please do try keep it down at night. A sleep deprived Alec is the last thing we all need right now."

I had opened my mouth to protest but he had already shut the door. I scoffed and turned to Jem who was kicking off his shoes and laying back on the bed.

"Rude, isn't he?" I hurried over to my suitcase and started busily unpacking. I started folding and stacking my shirts and blouses.

"Cynical I'd say," Jem smirked and rubbed his jaw, "Nothing you can't handle, Tessa."

I knew my mouth showed signs of a smile, but I didn't act upon it. I continued unpacking.

"How am I supposed to get through to him?" My voice was filled with exasperation. I stopped unpacking and pressed my palms to my eyes.

"You have done it once, you can do it again," Jem smiled reassuringly, "He is your family, no matter how distant. You will find a way, Tessa, and I'll be right by your side when you do."

I sighed and jumped onto the bed. I crawled so I was kneeling next to Jem's outstretched body. I threw myself ontop of him, ignoring the clatter of our suitcases landing on the floor, and linked my hands behind his head. I felt his laugh rumble from his chest, and squeezed myself to him harder. He wrapped is arms around my back and hugged me back, and I joined him in his laughter, though I did not know why we were laughing. I could remember nothing better then being entangled in somebody else's arms. It was so innocent, yet it felt so intimate.

He began to plant kisses in my hair, so I looked up to his face and immediately took his lips into mine. The kiss wad automatically passionate and made me feel flustered and warm on the inside. My hands moved to his shoulders, then glided down to his chest. I used his t-shirt to pull him even more closer to me, and wriggled around ontop of him so one of my legs laid between his, and the other straddled his hip. Jem responded with a low moan, and placed his hands on my hips. Our mouths moved in time, and I felt myself forgetting everything and anything bad in this world. Jem was nothing but goodness to me. Not only did I want and desire him, but I needed him.

I suddenly felt Jem's mouth form a smile over mine and he gripped my hips and flipped me over. Our mouths parted for a few seconds, but once Jem repositioned himself carefully above me, he pulled my against him and resumed our kiss. I wrapped my legs around his lower back and deepened our kiss to the point where I wasn't sure who's tongue belonged to who. Our bodies rocked gently together and our hipbones clashed. Jem broke the kiss and trailed his mouth down my jaw to my neck. I shut my eyes and smiled from satisfaction. I knew what I wanted. Jem and I had always gotten so close to it, but we had always been interrupted.

"Jem," I sounded breathless, "can we... You know?" I opened my eyes when Jem jerked his head up.

"Oh. You mean...?"

I nodded to him and he sat up on his elbows and rolled off me. The lack of contact we had now made me feel naked and empty. He laid next to me on the bed, staring at the ceilng. I then regretted saying anything, remembering that he hasn't gone that far.

"I've never done it. Since the girl I loved was married and the whole me being a Silent Brother thing," he nervously chuckled, "I never really had the chance."

I rolled ontop of him again, and cupped his face with my hands. My heart ached for him, and I could only imagine how lonely he must have felt for so long. My beautiful Jem. He was so kind and deserved no less then the world, and I planned on giving him the world.

"I don't care if you haven't, Jem, but I'm guessing you're not exactly ready?"

He turned his head and kissed my palm, then softly smiled, "I am ready, but another night? We needn't rush into things, Tessa."

I touched my lips to his and whispered, "I agree. I'll always love you no matter what though."

He gently pecked me back and whispered back, "I'll always love you too."

* * *

><p>Later that night, I had left Jem to unpack and have his shower, and wondered the halls of the Institute. It was so familiar, and just as spectacular. I could have wondered those halls for days, but my attention was caught by a pair of large, wooden doors. Ah.<p>

The Institute's library was just short of perfection. It was 2 story and filled with book shelves and glass cases. Reading chairs and desks were scattered around, and a large statue of an angel stood in the middle. I knew I'd be spending most of my time there. I heard a clatter of, what sounded like, books landing on the floor, and I snapped my attention to the right of me. Jace was hastily picking up the books off the ground. He looked tired, his eyes seemed desperate for sleep. He was dressed in all black, and his hair was quite messy.

"You found this place rather quickly," he stood up and plonked the books down on a nearby desk. He leaned against it and stared at me awaiting my answer. I nodded.

"The books were calling me," I quipped. This was an excellent chance to get to know one another.

"You read?" He sounded surprised.

"Yes, excessively."

"There's no such thing as reading excessively."

This made me smile. I worked forward to him cautiously, but he didn't seem phased. I picked up one of the books he'd placed on the desk, and observed it. I was impressed with what I found.

"20,000 leagues under the sea," I brushed my finger tips over the cover and smiled, "An excellent read, Jace."

He smirked, "I haven't read it yet. I didn't exactly have the time, since I was possessed and all. I doubt I'll have any time nowadays either. Sebastian is on the loose and is coming for my girlfriend and I. I really am down on luck," he shook his head and subtly took the book from my hands and looked at the book earnestly, "Maybe once the world is safe. You can even make me hot chocolate while I read by the fire place, since you so badly want to act like family," I flinched at how coldly he had said family, "You'll earn extra brownie points if you draw cute little pictures with the froth."

I was really taken back by this and put my hands on my hips. I was confident though. I knew how to handle a Herondale.

"I'd even read to you if you wanted," he smirked when I said this, "but, in fact, after this war is over I'll be leaving. You'll probably never see me again. Maybe you could ask Clary to make you some hot chocolate?"

His smirk dropped and he raised his eyebrows, "So you didn't just come back to play family with me? You're just going to disappear again?"

There was something about the way he said that. Sadness? Disappointment? I couldn't put my finger on it, but it was definitely there. He chucked the book onto the desk, then walked straight pass me to the exit. I turned to look at him.

"Only if you want me to disappear," I called after him. He hesitated for a second, seeming to need to think about what I said, then kept walking until he was out of sight. I was hoping I had made some kind of progress there.

* * *

><p>I crept back into mine and Jem's room at about 11. I could hear the shower going, and our suitcases were moved to the corner of the room. I made my way over and fumbled through mine until I found suitable pyjamas. The shower stopped, and I quickly changed and brushed my hair before jumping into bed and under the covers. I didn't realise how tired I was until I began to close my eyes.<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Cassandra Clare and the Infernal Devices series!**

**A/N: HEY ALL! I think I've finally fought my writer's block and I am back on track with my writing. YAY! I'm still super busy with school work though but that'll never slow down. Thanks for all the favs, follows, and reviews I have received! I'd like to give a shoutout to MEEC7 for always reviewing and to my wonderful beta, LittleDrummerGirl2010 :) I'm sorry if this story has been going really slow, but the filler chapters are now over, and the action (and romance) will heat up. Hope you're well and ENJOY! :)**

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><p>"The Clave is corrupt."<p>

"There's no way we can infiltrate Sebastian's plans."

"He's on the move."

"There will be war."

"But there is so few of us left."

"Let him come to us first then."

"I'm hungry, who wants lunch?"

I glanced up at the last sentence to see Isabelle standing in the Institute library doorway, with her hands on her hips. It was a cold day. and we had all gathered in the library to discuss the current situation and fate of our world.

"I'm good," Clary said. She tried a smile but I could see how weary she looked. She was sitting on a desk, with her feet dangling, and kept unknowingly rubbing her eyes. She looked like she had been losing sleep. Alec just shook his head silently. He was too busy scowling down at his phone. Could he be texting Magnus?

"I'm hungry but not for anything made by you," Jace quipped to Isabelle who sighed in exasperation, "We have bigger things to worry about than lunch anyway." He was leaning on the desk Clary was sitting on, and he too looked just as weary. I knew he was worried about what was to come, whether he'd live or not, whether he could be with Clary. I too had similar feelings, but I was quite hungry.

"That'd be lovely Isabelle, do you need some help?"

"No it's fine, I'll wake up Simon and he can help," she giggled then, with a flick of her hair, hurried out of the library. I was thinking I should do the same, since Jem was still in bed. Which worried me. It's past midday, and he is normally an early riser. I had also left him a note, saying I was in the library. Wouldn't he have met me by now?

I excused myself from our small meeting, and trotted down the hallways and up a few small staircases. I was still getting used to staying in the Institute. It's winding stairs, never-ending corridors, various, lavish rooms, all the artworks hung on the walls, it was like an art gallery or a museum. I learnt different things about it everyday. It had been a couple of days since Jem and I had arrived, and rumours were already spreading amongst Shadowhunters that a battle would be taking place against Sebastian. Maryse and Robert were in Idris, so Jem and I were left in charge of the kids, who spent most of their time discussing how to take down Sebastian and training Clary.

'_Erchomai'_, Sebastian had said. _I am coming_.

As I sharply turned the corner, the thought of those words made my head spin. It may not be me he was exactly coming for, but it still unsettled me.

"Jem?" I knocked on the door to our room, and pressed my ear to it, "Are you there?"

My patience exceeded me, and I carefully opened the door. The red curtains were open, sunlight was spilling into the room, and I could tell by the way the lump of sheets shifted from my entrance that Jem was still in bed. I walked over to the bed and sat down on my side. My note was still on my pillow, seemingly untouched. I could only see Jem's feet at the bottom of the bed, as the rest of him was wrapped in the white sheets. I poked him.

"James, you have to wake up."

He shifted a bit, and I could hear him groan. This wasn't like him. If anything, I'd be the one still sleeping at midday, being prodded by him.

"James really-"

I shut my mouth as he threw the sheets off of him, and revealed his face and naked torso. I blushed at the vulnerable sight of him. His hair was in a morning scruff, his eyes still held the trace of sleep, and his abdomen was clenched; and looking very touchable. He absentmindedly ran his fingers through his hair and sat up.

"Tess, I'm so tired, ten more minutes? "

I laughed at this, and he grinned. I playfully flicked his arm, and his dark eyes lit up at the contact.

"You have to fight it, Jem. Now get up."

He flopped back onto his pillow and shut his eyes again, but his boyish grin stuck to its place.

"James-"

"Shh."

I again shut my mouth. My breath hitched at the sight of him, so peaceful and calm. I wished I had the control he did. His breathing was even, and his eyelids lay so still. The impulse to touch him rose, to glide my fingers across his jaw, over his lips, and to his cheekbones. I acted on this impulse almost immediately. His grin widened, but his eyes were still shut, as a touched his smooth face.

"Now I think you definitely should get up," I whispered to him. I was edging closer and closer to his face. He opened his eyes, and I met the dark pools of brown I loved so much.

"Why should I do that, Tessa?" His voice was husky, like it always was in the morning.

"Before I do something like this," I cupped his face and claimed his lips with mine. His grin melted, and his lips molded mine. His hands gripped my neck, deepening the kiss. Everything was so electric. He was so electric. He made me feel like I was burning, but he made no scars and all I felt was desire. His lips, oh those lips-

"Simon is gone!" Jem and I snapped apart and we both turned to face a wide eyed Isabelle.

"Isabelle!" I exclaimed, and immediately hopped off the bed. My cheeks warmed up and I avoided Jem's eyes. Isabelle just giggled.

"It's kinda weird to see you two kiss because you're both over 100 years old, but I'll let that slip," her smile dropped and her playful face turned serious, "I came here though, because Simon's missing, and he didn't answer his phone, some girl did."

I looked to Jem who was frowning. He had thrown on a t-shirt and was now standing up, looking alert, "Who's the acquaintance?"

Isabelle shook her head, "I don't know, but I'm heading to find the rest of the team. I'll meet you both in the library," she turned to leave and yelled back at us, "and hurry."

Jem walked into the bathroom and I stared after him. I could hear the tap running, and I knew he would be splashing water on his face. He did that when he was anxious. I moved to the doorway of the bedroom, and stood there waiting for him. I could feel panic arising in me now too. How many people did Sebastian have on his side? Jem walked out of the bathroom, and rubbed his eyes.

"James?" He gazed at me for a bit when I said his name. Then he walked over, took my hand, and pressed my knuckles to his lips. That same burning sensation ran through me. Without another word, he led me out of the room and through the magnificent Institute hallways. He was so beautiful, and I know I say that so much, but I worry that I won't have many more chances too.

* * *

><p>"I thought you were making lunch, Izzy?" Jace lifted his eyebrows expectantly at Isabelle who was frantically trying to call Simon.<p>

Isabelle ignored him and looked worryingly at me, "His phone is going straight to voicemail."

We were all back in the library together, in our original positions, and everything just felt like we were back at square one.

"How young did the girl sound?" Alec spoke up, and walked over to Isabelle, looking down at her phone.

"Like five years old."

Alec snorted. We were getting nowhere.

"What did the girl say?" Jem was still holding my hand tightly and he squeezed it every now and then to comfort me. Gosh, was I thankful for him or what.

"She said, 'Simon is too busy right now, don't bother calling again though'," Isabelle tapped her chin impatiently.

"Huh, weird," Clary was looking down at her own phone, "it says his phone is disconnected now."

"Oh no."

"Great."

I looked from Isabelle to Jace, then my gaze fell on Alec. His expression suddenly changed from stoic to ecstatic, and his blue eyes lit up. The light in them almost gleaned at me, and I was happily reminded of a similar pair of blue eyes.

"Maureen!"

All 5 of us frowned at him.

"She is the vampire who killed Camille..." He trailed off, nodding his head to prove his point, "Now rules all of New York's vampires."

Oh no.

Isabelle almost growled, "I think Maia told me about her. She's really preppy, in love with Simon? Jordan said to Maia that Simon had a, uh, run in with her at a gig."

I quickly gathered what Isabelle meant by "run in", and by the look on Jem's face and the squeeze of my hand, he did too.

"He turned her?"

"Not on purpose, I don't think."

Jem rubbed his jaw thoughtfully, "It is only natural that Simon would want to re group with other vampires..."

"He knows how bad Maureen is though," Clary protested.

"Does he?"

We all sat there in silence for a while. I could tell that Jem was thinking of a plan, of the best plight of action, because everyone else shared the same expression.

* * *

><p>It was nighttime, and none of us were any closer to figuring out what had happened to Simon, and what will happen if he is, in fact, with Maureen. Jem and I stayed in the library as everyone else filed out. Jocelyn and Luke would be arriving in the morning, so maybe they could shed some light on the situation. I just am not very good with problem solving. Will used to say my impulse always got the better of me. I would never think, just do.<p>

Jem was sitting in an arm chair, and I was sitting on his lap with my head on his chest, and my legs dangling off the arm rest. He had his arms wrapped around me, and was playing silently with my hair. The library was now dim, and was only lit by the glow of the fireplace. Soon, Jem's breath evened and I could feel his heartbeat become steady. I was closing my eyes now too, willing for sleep. If only we could have stayed like this forever.

Then, there was a movement out of the corner of my eye.

I jumped slightly, my eyes shot wide, and my heart was bashing against my ribcage.

_Crash_.

I got off Jem's lap, and was surprised when he didn't awaken from the noise and my motion. I couldn't see properly in the lighting here, but I could see the darkness moving behind the stairwell. Someone must be here.

"James," I hissed quietly, but he answered with only a stir. My mind was racing and I kept looking around me in case someone jumped me.

_Crash_, and the movement stopped.

With one last glance at the stairwell, I shook Jem awake. He blinked in surprise, and looked at me with panic.

"Tessa? Tessa, what's wrong?"

He came to stand in front of me, and he placed his hands on my shoulders. His eyes were round with fear.

"There was something in here," my voice didn't sound like my own. It was filled with fear. What was in the shadows?

"Where?" With Jem beside me, I felt more secure. I always did with him. I took his hand and led him across the library, and over to the meandering staircase.

"There was movement here and-"

A piece of paper was floating down from the top of the staircase, which cut off my sentence. It swayed from side to side until it reached the floor in front of Jem and I. I squeezed his hand reassuringly and he bent down to pick it up.

"It's in Latin. It says..." He furrowed his eyebrows, then his eyes widened like they'd just seen a ghost. His hand holding the note was slightly shaking. His face dropped. I bent down next to him, and placed my hand over his trembling one. The note was written in curly print, with ink smudges surrounding the words. My heart thumped louder.

I read out the note: "_Venimus_."

Jem translated, "_We are coming_."


	8. Chapter 8

**DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to Cassandra Clare and the Infernal Devices series!**

**A/N: HEY ALL! Here is chapter 8! Holidays are in a week so I'm hopefully going to be releasing chapters more often! Please review, follow or favourite if you like my story! There will be more Jessa in the next chapter, and I think I'll bump up the rating a bit, but don't worry nothing hardcore lol. THANKS ALL and enjoy! :)**

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><p>Black. Everything went black.<p>

Venimus. We are coming.

"Tessa? It's alright, you're safe, I'm here," a voice spoke. It was low, smooth, with a London accent.

Venimus.

"Tessa, please."

The blackness started fading, and the voice that was pleading to me started to sound more and more familiar. I became alert to my surroundings, and realized I was on a soft bed, with strong hands cupping my neck.

"Tessa."

My eyes shot open, and I was met with the brown ones of Jem, but his looked tired. Jem never looked tired. He was sitting beside me on the bed, leaning over me with a look of pain on his face. Small bags were formed under his eyes, and his eyebrows were furrowed.

"James," the way his name came out of my mouth sounded like I was whispering a prayer.

His face relaxed and he bent down and pressed our foreheads together.

"Thank the angel. You passed out in the library, Tess, I had to carry you back here," I glanced around the room, and I felt safe as I recognized it was ours.

"I vaguely remember," I sighed. My head was aching still, and I could feel my hands trembling by my sides. I suddenly remembered what had made me faint, "Jem, the note..."

"We cannot tell anyone," his bluntness was striking. He stood up from the bed and started pacing. I sat up, resting my head on the bed head.

"Why is that? We have to tell, this could be another clue-"

"When I said anyone, I meant the kids," he was still pacing, and rubbing his jaw absentmindedly.

"They're not kids!" I argued. I couldn't believe he said something like that. I shook my head, and he raised an eyebrow at me.

"Jem, we were just as young! You, Will and I – "

"Stop Tessa – "

"—We did extraordinary things, and so have they – "

"Tessa."

I shut my mouth at the sternness in his voice. He had stopped pacing, crossed his arms, and was staring at me hard. The tiredness on his beautiful face was more evident now than ever.

"We can't say anything. I will inform Luke and Jocelyn, but not the kids," I scoffed when he said kids, "If Sebastian has built up an army than that is not something Jace and the others should worry about. They should focus on finding their friend and training Clary. They are too young to get involved in war."

I knew he was right. He was always right. I closed my eyes momentarily, and exhaled and inhaled deeply. We are coming. Who was 'we'? Sebastian's first warning was singular, so the change to plural was worrying me.

I stared at Jem, and bit my lip hard, "Who do you think has joined him, James?"

He blinked up at me, as if wondering whom I meant then shook his head. He came and sat down beside me again.

"Honestly? I have no bloody clue. All I can guess is that his numbers are building, and that is frightening considering how our numbers are dwindling. Something needs to be done soon. I'm scared, Tessa," his voice was strained and filled with a sense of helplessness. He was facing away from me, his body turned towards the window, and his hair falling slightly forward with the bow of his head. He looked striking, but so vulnerable. I moved myself so I sat cross-legged beside him on the bed, then I hesitantly put my head on his shoulder. I breathed in his scent of spices and felt such strong comfort from our simple contact.

"Jem, it's normal. I feel the same as you-"

"Tessa-"

"Just listen," I lifted my head off his shoulder and he turned so our eyes could meet, "We will get through this, it'll be OK, I'm never going to leave you. I'll always be by your side; I'll do anything to keep you safe. Things will be better soon, we can get through this together. As long as we have our love, everything will turn out right, and we'll get out of this alive. Our love has lasted the greatest of obstacles, and can achieve the most wonderful thing; I know it can," I looked at him with as much intensity as I could. I said every comforting thing I could think of, and even if it came out in a ramble, I have never meant those words as fiercely as I do now. His mouth gave away the smallest sign of a smile, but I could still see the sadness etched on his face.

"As kind as your words are, Tessa, it makes me sad that they cannot fix the problem straight away," he sighed and looked down at my hands, then took them in his. He rubbed circles over my palm, and squeezed them reassuringly. I felt so calm by his careful touch. I wished I knew how to receive the same reaction from him.

"I have been losing sleep because I want to always make sure you're safe. While you're sleeping I stay watch so no harm comes to you, Tessa. I want to always be aware. In the library, when you heard those noises and I didn't wake up, I felt so ashamed. If anything had happened to you, I would not be able to live," he leaned over to me and pressed his lips to my forehead. As he held them there, I closed my eyes and let his touch linger. I swear his lips could leave burn marks whenever they touched me.

"I wish you didn't feel that way James." I didn't want him losing sleep over me; we were in the safety of the Institute. No harm would come to me, but then again, the fact that whoever sent that note has gotten in… My train of thought evaporated as I felt Jem move his lips away, and I opened my eyes to see him let go of my hands and stand up, "You should sleep Tessa. I think I might go for a walk, might visit an old friend," he winked at me then swiftly kissed my cheek and walked towards the door.

"Wo ai ni," I called to him, before settling back down under the warm white sheets of the bed. I caught Jem's scent among them and wrapped the covers tighter around my body. Though I would prefer his arms, the sheets made excellent substitutes.

"Zǒng shì Tessa._"_

'_Always Tessa.'_

* * *

><p><em>I stood in a field with tall grass and clear, blue skies. I was wearing my flimsy, white nightgown, with thin straps that slipped off my shoulder and a plunging v-neck. My hair was tumbling past my shoulders, and blowing slightly in the hot breeze. There was a large tree in the middle of the field, and I hadn't realised I was walking towards it. Underneath, was a man. He had dark hair, tanned skin, full lips, a sharp jaw line and striking blue eyes. He was dressed loosely in a plain dress shirt and black pants. He was bare footed, and holding a book with the title 'A Tale of Two Cities'.<em>

_Will._

_"Ah, Tess. I was wondering when you would join me," his voice was silky and young, and his smile flashed white teeth, "I had to submerge myself in a good book to keep me from worrying about where you were."_

_Joy spread through me as I took in his youthful looks. The wrinkles that had formed near his eyes and on his forehead were gone, and he looked exactly like the day I first met him. I ran over to him as he stood up from his spot under the tree, and flung my arms around his neck. He was warm, just like how I remember, and for a second I nearly forgot this was a dream. Everything felt real, the way his arms neatly curled around me, it was so familiar._

_"Tess."_

_I pulled my arms away from him, and cupped his face with my hands. His arms stayed firmly around me. I opened my mouth to speak and-_

_Nothing came out._

_I tried again, almost gagging on my own tongue, but no sound escaped my lips._

_"Venimus, Tess."_

_I pulled away from Will and stumbled backwards. The sky had turned grey, and wind picked up making the tall grass hit my legs like whips. I tried to speak again, but it was no use. I touched my throat with my hands in complete shock; my mouth was gaped wide open._

_"We are coming, Tess, you're not safe."_

_I was still clutching my throat when I met Will's eyes. Only, they were no longer blue. They were a scorching red. I tried and tried to scream, as I took in the rest of his new appearance. His lips were painted red by blood, and he had sharp, white fangs. He looked like porcelain and as I went to try scream again, the noise hitched in my throat as I realised a limp, body had appeared in his arms._

_Jem's body. And it was covered in blood, so much blood. It was mangled, like all the bones had been snapped, and there were two neat puncture marks on his neck._

_This time, when I tried to scream, I succeeded._

* * *

><p>I jolted awake. My heart felt like it had temporarily stopped beating, and the room around me was spinning. <em>What did I just dream about?<em>

"Tessa!"

The sound of a familiar, feminine voice turned my blurred vision clear, and brought me out of my deep sleep. I pushed the white sheets away from me, and wriggled around in my jeans that I had been wearing the night before. Sitting at the end of my bed was a slim, woman with stunning red hair that was in loose ringlets. She had sharp, well-defined features, and green eyes that resembled Clary's. Ah, of course.

"Jocelyn."

She smiled and I scooted over on the bed to hug her. I remembered her as a child, from vague family reunions, and the colour of her hair has never dulled since. She reminded me of Henry and Charlotte, and that always caused an ache in my chest. We held the hug for a while, and then parted. I sat down next to her and ran my fingers through my hair, in hopes of making it look presentable.

"I'm sorry I didn't come greet you, Jem and I had a rough night and-"

She raised a hand and simply nodded, "Jem has filled me in, Tessa, no need to worry."

I sighed thankfully, "Good, good. Is Luke here too? I was thinking you, Jem, Luke and I should discuss our plans and-"

I abruptly stopped as Jocelyn shook her head, "I have already talked to Jem, and we believe it best for you to stay here with Clary and the others. They need a motherly figure around while we're all in Idris, and Jem wants you well away from harm."

I opened my mouth to protest, but shut it against my better judgement. I knew there was no point being snappy with Jocelyn, for I knew Jem was the one who would have put this unjust idea forward.

"I completely understand," I tried my biggest smile, but ended up biting down hard on my lower lip. I felt like I was going to be under house arrest, like I was a prisoner, and how was I supposed to get by if Jem is off fighting in a war? I needed to be with him.

Jocelyn and I sat there talking for a while. She told me about the Clave's manhunt for Sebastian, the recurring disappearances, and the loss of many downworlder allies. I watched as the folds on her forehead creased then uncreased, and the way her green eyes darkened every time she mentioned her son. I could tell she did not want Sebastian do die, but that seemed the only way to stop him. He was too much like his father.

It was about midday by the time I actually cleaned myself up and left my bedroom. Jocelyn had left to talk to Luke and Clary, and, according to Jocelyn, Jem was still out. I felt distant and left out, and still utterly angry at being dislocated from fighting in the war. I may not be a Shadowhunter, but I have my uses, and I could help with strategies as such.

I made my way to the library, since it seemed to be the only place I could find comfort, and as I opened the doors, it still took my breath away. Not only because of its looks, but the shelves with plentiful books, that I have yet to discover. The thought brought me peace, and I smiled of the thought of all the stories in this place, unread and untouched. Though I felt nervous because of last night's events, I made my way through the many shelves, blowing dust and plucking books off them. I missed the solitary feel of a library. Almost nothing is more comforting than being surrounded by books, except maybe Jem, but I didn't have him now so books were a perfect resort.

I sat down on the floor between one of the rows of shelves, and started to read the blurbs of the books I'd picked up, when I heard the sound of the library doors open and close. I jumped to my feet, and clutched the book I was holding to my chest. My breathing shallowed.

Venimus.

I carefully walked to the end of the row, and peered over the steel railing, down to the large space below. Thank the angel; it was just Isabelle, Jace and Alec.

Isabelle was pacing, and her ponytail was whipping back and forth at a rapid speed, Jace was leaning against a desk with a scowl, and Alec was slumped in an armchair with his nose in his phone. Texting Magnus, perhaps? And as always, they were all dressed in Shadowhunter black.

"We shouldn't, Jace," protested Isabelle, throwing her hands in the air. "The Clave has a plan."

"The Clave has the collective intelligence of a pineapple," said Jace.

I tried my hardest to repress a laugh. Jace was right, the Clave were clueless about Sebastian, Jace had been the one out there with him. He'd know Sebastian's every move.

Alec blinked up at them. "Jace is right."

Isabelle turned on her brother. "What do you know? You weren't even paying attention."

"I was," Alec said, looking rather injured. "I said Jace was right."

"Yeah, but there's like a 90% chance of me being right most of the time, so that's not proof you were listening," said Jace, giving a signature smirk. "That's just a good guess."

I was still silently watching from the railing above as the three bickered, when an idea formed in my head. Maybe this could be my chance to fight, and to help give Jace and the others a voice. Jace is the only one who can defeat Sebastian, and from what I have heard, he is more than capable. Jem wouldn't be happy, but he knows me too well to think I'd sit around doing nothing while the people I love are in danger. I needed to play my part, so maybe Jem and I could get out of this alive, and build a life together. I needed and could not wait to see the world with him._ My Jem_. Maybe I could become Mrs Carstairs, and we could finally get married.

I started to walk down the spiral staircase to where Jace, Isabelle and Alec were, and I fingered the jade pendant on my throat. I needed to get out of this war alive, Jem and I both did. I came to a stop beside where Isabelle was standing, and all their attentions turned on me. They all looked guilty, like they'd been caught plotting against the Clave; which I guess they sort of were.

"Tessa, we were just talking about the Clave-" I raised my hand to stop Isabelle mid-sentence. I smiled reassuringly at the embarrassed teenagers, though Jace was absentmindedly looking at the floor.

"I would like for you to train me," I was looking at Jace and he glanced up, his amber eyes full of surprise and a little bit of respect I thought, "Because I'd like to help all of you to find Sebastian."


	9. Chapter 9

**DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to Cassandra Clare and the Infernal Devices series!**

**A/N: HEY ALL! Here is Chapter 9 :) school is back ughh... -.- but I promise I will work hard at writing as many chapters as I can! Please favourite, follow and/or review! All reviews are deeply appreciated! THANKS ALL and enjoy :)**

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><p>"That's really crazy, and I think you've gone a little insane," Jace was shaking his head and was now standing erect in front of me. He had his amber eyes squinted in a deathly stare at me.<br>His comment faltered my confidence a bit, and so did his stare. I needed to learn how to fight in this war though, so I could stay with Jem and protect him, and Jace. I knew that I had to learn to defend myself so I could be of some sort of substantial use, and not just thought of as a damsel in distress.

I stood taller, rolled back my shoulders, and lifted the corners of my mouth up into a smile. Isabelle stood a little straighter, and nodded in approval and respect. Alec was still slumped in his chair, but with his eyes on me, though his expression stayed the same.

Isabelle turned her attention to Jace and rolled her eyes, "I think it's a good idea, Jace. She could help us devise a plan, and if I recall, like two seconds ago you wanted a plan," Isabelle stepped forward and stood beside me, facing Jace with confidence, "And she can give us one."

I glanced at Isabelle, and admired her for standing up for me. I noticed Alec nodding along with her, which also boosted my esteem. Jace seemed to hesitate.

"She's a warlock for one thing; she's not as strong as us and doesn't even have powers like Magnus. It will be like training a mundane. She won't be strong enough to fight in the war. Training her would be pointless," Jace ran his fingers through his hair and stared at the ground. I bit down on my lip, knowing he was telling the truth. I was weaker; I didn't have powers like normal warlocks, or the ally of the runes. Then, I remember I have no human in me, and I am not like other warlocks.

"I am half Shadowhunter, half warlock though."

Isabelle and Alec widened their eyes, and Jace snapped his attention away from the floor and to my face. Isabelle made an almost inaudible gasp, and Jace parted his lips in confusion.

Alec snorted, "That's not possible."

I grinned, "Of course it is. I've just never been properly trained, and runes don't exactly work on me."

Jace looked up at me, folded his arms, then stepped forward. He raised his eyebrows and smirked, "We could give it a try then."

Isabelle nodded, "Definitely."

I felt giddy, and I could feel the joy spread through me. I am finally fulfilling my dream of being like Boadicea. I knew Will would be proud of me.

The trouble was though, that Jem would be less than content with my decision. I left the library, and was trotting toward bedroom that Jem and I shared. That morning, when Jocelyn had told me I was to remain in the Institute while they go to Idris to find Sebastian and fight, she had mentioned Jem's agreement with keeping me a prisoner in these old church walls. I had to convince Jem, and prove to him I could be of worthy use, and not just looking after Jace and the others.

I finally arrived to our bedroom, and hastily swung the door open.

"Jem?" The curtains were open and light was streaming into the room. The fireplace had a dull, shine of an ember, and the smell of spices and sunlight filled my head.

And there he was.

I hadn't seen him in a little over 11 hours, and yet I had missed him so much. He was sitting on an armchair next to the fireplace, and was watching the smouldering ember spit. His charcoal hair was its usual scruff, and his angular face was fine and set in a serious expression.  
>He sat with his legs outstretched, and was wearing a knitted sweater, dark jeans, and just bare feet. I stood silently in the doorway and admired him. My Jem. So steady and enlightening, not only in his looks, but his heart.<p>

I snapped out of my trance, and closed the door behind me. I met his eyes as he tore his gaze away from the fireplace. He took in a breath, and as did I.

"Tessa, I was waiting for you. Jocelyn said you were headed to the library, so I decided to wait for you here," he slowly drew his mouth into a lopsided grin that made my heart stutter, "though, I knew you could have been there all afternoon."

I sighed and walked over to him. "You know me too well, Jem. That's a curse and a blessing."

He sat forward on his chair, and I came to a stop in front of him. He wrapped his arms around my hips and pulled me towards him. For a second, I stood there in his arms. I forgot that I was incredibly upset and mad at him, and gladly took in the warmth his arms gave me. His chin grazed my stomach as he lifted his head up to look at me, and I carefully cupped his neck with my hands. His pulse was fast and reassuring underneath my fingers, and he hugged me a little tighter, eliciting a strong euphoria feeling from me.

Jem always had this effect on me. He always held me in a way that rids any negativity or doubt. He always made me feel as if I had landed myself in a dream where everything was a little brighter, a little more colourful, and his touch- oh, his touch. It haunted me. The softest touch, the smallest graze of skin, always left me in a daze.

I closed my eyes; welcoming the elation he was bringing me, and slowly moved my hands into his tousled hair. In reaction, he pressed his lips to my abdomen and left them there to linger.

I suddenly remembered why I was here in the first place.

I immediately opened my eyes, and tensed my body. Of course, he felt this right away, and removed his lips from my body and loosened his grip. He looked up to me, his deep ink eyes looked brimmed with concern.

"You ok, Tess?" He frowned at his words. It seemed like he feel he has done no wrong.

"I am sincerely not ok," I say boldly, and he raises an eyebrow questionably. I find the courage to peel my hands off him and step out of his reach, "you have gone behind my back."

"Tessa-"

"Jocelyn told me you want me to stay here to look after Jace, and Clary, and Isabelle and Alec. She said you are going to leave me here while you leave to Idris to help the Clave," he winced slightly at my words, and hunched his back, "you deem me weak, as if I cannot stand on my own. I am half Shadowhunter, I can be trained, and that's exactly what will happen, since Jace and the others have accepted to train me."

He met my eyes with a fierce look. "Tess, I do not think you are weak."

I watched his hunched back steadily move up and down with his breath. I failed in suppressing a smile at his reassurance, but I made sure it dissolved as fast as it appeared.

"You act as if I am though," my voice was small, and I felt unsteady. I stared at my shoes, and refused to give into looking at him.

He sighed. "I don't think you are weak, I just want to keep you safe-"

I rolled my eyes then shook my head at him, "Because I'm weak."

He rubbed his jaw for a second than stood up and walked towards me. I looked past his shoulder to the fireplace, which still had the faint glow of embers, and to the window where the afternoon sunlight was growing weaker and weaker. My resolve was dwindling like the embers and the sun.

I looked back to him. He stood inches from me now, and was looking at me hard in the eye. He was frowning, so I bit down on my lip.

"You're not weak, you're strong, you're brave, Tessa. You'd do anything for the people you love," he carefully took my hands in his and rubbed his thumbs over and over in circles on my knuckles. I let out a small sigh. "You are so wonderful like that. I just cannot lose you, Tess. I want you here, safe, not because I think you are weak but because I cannot lose you. You are the last of my life, the last remaining reason for my existence, and I object to ever losing you again."

He was looking down at our joint hands, while I was staring at him in awe. His words were so beautiful, meaningful. They were so full of truth and splendour, that I instantly forgave him and longed for our souls and bodies to be entwined.

"Jem," I breathed.

He looked up to me and flashed his lopsided grin, "Yes?"

"Can you do something for me?"

"_Shénme_, Tessa, anything."

I grinned, "Kiss me so I can forget all the evil in this world."

He released my hands, then pulled me by the hips to meet his own. Our noses were touching, and his eyes were focused on my lips, as if he was memorizing the shape of them.

"Of course."

Our lips collided and he wasted no time in parting my lips with his tongue. All I could focus on was his hands tugging my t-shirt, and his steaming mouth meeting mine. I myself tugged at his sweater, and we found ourselves stumbling over to the bed, and landing on it in a heap. I giggled and he laughed at our graceful fall onto the bed. As he resumed our kissing, with him propped above me, my head echoed with his laughter.  
>Our kisses grew deeper and deeper, and it was like we could breathe each other or devour each other whole. His fingertips left burn marks all over my skin, and I shuddered as he moved his lips to the pulse at my throat. I tangled my hands in his hair, and squeezed my eyes shut. Our legs were tangled, our bodies pressed so tightly, our lips swollen from kisses, but the fire between us was only getting bigger. I managed to pull his sweater over his head, but whimpered at the lost sensation of his lips. He quickly rolled my t-shirt over my head too, and he paused for a second to look down at me in my plain, black bra. I realized he had not seen me so exposed before and I felt my cheeks burn. His torso though was built, and full of hard muscle. I touched his abdomen and I met hot, solid skin. He quietly let out a moan, before leaning down and crashing his lips onto mine. My throat ached with his scent, and my body yearned for his touch over and over again. He ran his tongue along my lips, and clung to my hips tightly. The sensations he sent through my body made me feel as if I were flying, and like I had a never-ending fever of love and heat. I squeezed my legs around his waist, and bit his lower lip as his hand ran down my right leg. He started to gently rock against me, and I eagerly allowed him too, and followed his lead. This fire we were making was ridding me of any self-control I thought I had, and was sending me over an edge with a never-ending fall. <em>'Love in its essence is spiritual fire'<em>, and Jem and I were engulfed in love's flames.

"James," I whimpered against his mouth and raised my voice, "Yes!"

He sucked lightly on my jaw, and steadily moved his fingers to the buttons of my jeans. I could feel myself trembling under him, and I was about to shut my eyes when the bedroom door swung wide.

"SHIT!" Jace stood in the doorway with his hands over his eyes.

Jem rolled off me and sprung upright on the bed. His eyes were wide, but not as wide as mine were. I grabbed a pillow and hid my chest with it in a rush. Jem quickly recovered his sweater and pulled it over his head.

"Jace," he began, with a amusement in his voice, "You should have knocked."

"By the Angel, I did, and she," Jace pointed accusingly at me, "Said yes!"

My face was completely red and Jem was trying his best not to laugh at the misunderstanding.

"I came to tell you dinner is ready. I won't be coming again so hurry up before you both forget," he shook his head before hurrying out of the room and shutting the door.

Jem and I looked at each other, and his face was just as scarlet as mine. I sat up next to him and laid my head on his shoulder. The heat between us had evaporated, but Jem still had his natural loving warmth. My head raised with his breath, and I felt secure and content.

"We need a lock," he observed.

I chuckled. "Are you implying we will be doing that again, Jem?"

He leaned down and planted a kiss to my forehead, then kept his lips planted there as he whispered against my skin, "Most definitely."


	10. Chapter 10

**DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to Cassandra Clare and the Infernal Devices series!**

**A/N: HEY ALL! Here is chapter 10! and um CITY OF HEAVENLY FIRE IN 9 DAYS! Everyone excited? I'm hoping to fit another update in before then! Please follow/review, it would mean a lot! ENJOY :)**

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><p>It was mid morning, and I walked out of the changing room, and into the open space of the training room. It was in the attic of the institute, and had wooden scaffolding all around the ceiling. Targets were set up around the walls, and high, wooden beams hung from the roof. Various training weapons were laid out on tables, and crash mats were spread all along the concrete floors. I was excited. Today would be my first training session, and I could not wait to begin.<p>

I pulled my hair back in a loose bun, and pulled up the waistband of my black tights, then held my head eye as I made my way to where Jace was tying up his runners. He briefly glanced up; his tawny eyes shimmered with confidence, and nodded to acknowledge my presence.

"We'll be starting with easy defence techniques, so stand opposite me."

I did as he said, and as I turned to face him, I saw second too late his arm swing back and felt a sharp pain as it collided into my shoulder. I stumbled back on the crash mat, and held my shoulder.

"Lesson one in defence basics," Jace smirked and started stretching his arms nonchalantly, "Always keep your eye on your opponent. Do you really think a demon or forsaken will wait for you to get into position?"

I shook my head, "No," I straightened myself up again, this time with a scowl. I, of course, expected Jace to be a tough teacher.

"Good, let's start then."

* * *

><p>Needless to say, I was aching a lot. After my first training with Jace, I had immediately retreated to the solitude of the library to sit by the warm fire and to feel the comfort of the surrounding books.<p>

For a while, I sat and watched the snow fall out of the large library window. The snowflakes looked like feathers floating in the wind, and I felt peace watching them sway back and forth. Christmas was coming soon, and New York was gradually becoming covered in mid December snow. I hugged the book I was holding tightly to my chest and momentarily closed my eyes. The library was completely silent, besides the crackling sound of the fire, and I imagined the sound of laughter and voices. Not just any laughter and voices, the sound of people from a lifetime ago. Memories and ghosts filled the empty library, with chatter and joy and the turning of old book pages. The sound of melancholy songs were being sung in the distance, and the sound of violin gently echoing.

'_Henry, for the Angel's sake, have you been listening to me at all?'_

_'Pardon, love?'_

I squeezed my eyes shut tighter as I replayed the sound of their bickering, and the laughter of Will that followed, then Jem's scolding of Will's laughter, then my laughter at Jem's scolding.

As I opened my eyes, the laughter, voices and music faded away, and I was once again alone in the library. The snow had stopped falling, and the fire had died down. I then noticed the tears that had escaped my eyes, and let them roll down my face and onto my neck freely. Immortality, I thought, was the cruellest gift anyone could ever receive. I had learnt though, with years and years of practice, to repress my memories and to live in the present as much as possible. This was a rare moment of remembering.

The sound of the library door click made me snap out of the moment, and I vigorously wiped the tears off my face. "Tessa?"

I sighed in relief.

"Jem? I'm here."

I watched as Jem closed the library door, and trotted down the steps towards me. He was wearing a thick trench coat, with flecks of snow on his shoulders and his hair. As he reached where I was sitting, and intently looked me in the eye, I hoped dearly he would not notice I had been crying. He swiftly leant down and kissed my cheek, then sat in another armchair opposite me, rubbing his hands together for warmth.

"How was your training with Jace?"

I grinned, "Brilliant. My shoulder is aching though, he likes to shove a lot."

Jem laughed, a laugh I knew off by heart, and ran his hand through his dark hair, making it stand up and look more ruffled than usual. I cocked my head to the side, and watched him closely. He looked less tired, and even had a hint of red hue in his cheeks. He looked more alive, and I was thankful.

"What were you doing out?" I put the book I was holding down, and stood up and walked over to Jem. He formed his mouth into a lopsided grin as I approached him.

"I was with Jocelyn and Luke. We were investigating the Hotel Dumont, to see if it was still inhabited with vampires," he sighed and shook his head, "they're gone."

I frowned. The New York vampires were gone? Surely not. I remembered my dream, where Will had grown fangs, and thought maybe it was a sign. Could the vampires have joined Sebastian?

I sat down in Jem's lap, laying my legs over the side of the armrest and hugging his torso tightly. He leant back and gently rubbed my lower back reassuringly.

I kissed his temple, and kept my lips there as I whispered, "Do you think it's a sign?"

He let out another exasperated sigh, "Yes, by the Angel, yes. If the New York vampire's have banded with Sebastian, there's no doubt other clans will too," his voice was fogged with desperation, "And no sign of the boy, Simon. Luke was following his scent, it was all over the Hotel Dumont, but no sign of any vampires, so we have lost him."

I ran my fingers along his jaw and nodded at his words. It was awful about Simon, but my thoughts were on Jem and the way his skin felt against my fingertips, and how it caused shooting stars in my veins. He slowly closed his eyes, and I traced my lips down from his temple, to his cheekbone and smiled against the warmth of his skin. His hand cupped the small of my back tightly, and tugged me closer to him. My lips managed to find his, and I was about to press down when the clatter of books snapped me out of my trance.

"SIMON IS GONE?" Clary was standing a few metres behind Jem and I, and I whipped my head around at her shriek. She looked wild. Her red hair was spilling out of its ponytail, and her green eyes were widened with anger.

I stood up and shook my head, "Clary, he isn't gone-"

"That's what it sure sounded like he was saying!" Clary accusingly pointed at Jem who was still seated and had his face in his hands.

"I'm sure Simon is fine, Clarissa-"

"No, no I need to find Jace," she spun on her heel and started to run away.

With one last glance at Jem, I hopped off his lap and hurried after Clary.

She ran to the library door and flung it open. "Clary wait!"

She disappeared through the door in a wave of red hair, and I followed her through. She had stopped running, but was walking with haste down the hallway. I caught up to her and placed my hand on her shoulder as I caught my breath.

"Clary," I turned her around and placed both my hands on her shoulder. I looked closely into her worried, green eyes and gently squeezed her shoulders, "Clary, Simon is ok, he will be ok-"

She shook her head. "You don't understand! What if he's joined? What if they've forced him to join? He's gone. I'm his best friend, I'd know if something was wrong," her voice was filled with desperation, and I noticed her eyes form tears. I exhaled and carefully drew her into a hug. She began to sob almost silently, with only shaking shoulders and the faint wetness of tears on my shoulder. I tightened my grip on her, and I felt an ache in my throat.

_Venimus. We are coming._

A shiver ran down my spine, and as I held Clary in the corridor, I felt my hope start to crumble.


End file.
